"To be, or not to be a Mallu"

I have always been proud of being a Malayali. Why are we known for our petty tea shops? The joke goes this way that even if one goes to the moon, he can see a Malayali tea shop there. There is reason to be happy in this statement – insult too. Outside the borders of God's own country, we are prepared to do anything, any time, for any duration and that is why we are recognized as good workers wherever we are. Are we the same in our Homeland? No, we are just the exact opposite.

Our chauvinism and white collar attitude can sell only in our home land. While in our homeland, we do not like to soil our clothes and wet our hands. It is said, to be a true Malayali, a.k.a Mallu, one has to pass the Valayar check post multiple times and work somewhere else.That is when one transforms from a Malayali to a Mallu. Mallu in Malayalam means ‘Mallan’ (Wrestler). He is reborn as a Mallu to fight.

The life of a Mallu is always filled with struggles. A struggle not only to make both ends meet, but also to meet the demands of our culture. We usually go abroad or move to other states to make a living. We work and live like a sparrow and save like a squirrel for the rainy day. A closer look into our lives will give us an insight of what we really are.

A visit to the home land, the expenses associated with it, the struggles and sufferings to fulfil to maintain the ‘image’ brings us back to square one! And we have to start all over. Having stayed away for decades, most of the old connections are severed or weakened, the life styles have changed, and there are hardly a handful of relatives and friends now to count upon. We are not fully accepted back into the system and are looked upon as outsiders. Adding to this is the discrimination we have to suffer, even in India.

We are regarded as Madrasi's if we work in North India. Tamilians, Kannadiga’s, Malayali’s all are Madrasi's for the North Indians. Are they not aware that the three states have their own culture, traditions and sovereignty?

My previous workplace projects itself as an equal opportunity employer. This implies that there would not be any discrimination based on the language, skin colour or gender. Contrary to this, I was a victim of regional biasing many-a-times.

There is a scene in Roman Polanski's "The Pianist". A Jew tries to get away from an apartment where he's been holed up for months but unfortunately is spotted by a neighbour. As he scrambles down the stairs as fast as he can, she screams with utter contempt and hate: "Catch him! He's a JEW!!!”

That is exactly the way I felt, while working with them - Like a Jew in Hitler's Nazi Germany.

I remember my Ex V.P Vinay who himself is a keralite mockingly say - You should first kill a Mallu, if you happen to meet a Mallu and a poisonous snake together. Well, he meant it as a joke, but there are others who do so from the heart. I was never able to understand others motivation in cornering the Mallu’s. Some regard Mallu as a derogatory term, but most use it just as an acronym.

Kerala is known as the God's own country. Some say Keralites are narrow minded. Is it narrow mindedness? I do not agree. Social restrictions are very high in Kerala and it exists even now. May be these restrictions form the basis to what others see as narrow mindedness? Or may be its just that outside the borders of the God's own country, the Mallus are hard workers and rise to higher positions and this is not an acceptable factor for others.

A country that's divided by itself cannot stand... I believe it was Washington who said that... I used to take a pledge in my school assembly - "I am an Indian. All Indian's are my brothers and sisters". I guess people who create regional bias forget this pledge they have made to our great nation. It is because of this attitude that we are still branded a poor nation.

Please read the following story on a Mallu. I received it as a forwarded mail many years ago.

Kuttappan is a malayalee !

Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough,

Tom Cruise shouts, "Kuttapa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Kuttappan's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else", Kuttappan says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Kuttappan says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Kutts, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.

"Micahel jackson," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Kuttappan. "I have a lot of friends in Los Angeles, and I've known the Michael a long time."

So off they fly to Los Angeles.

Kuttappan and his boss are assembled with the crowd near L.A Square when Kuttappan says, "This will never work. I can't catch Michael’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with Michael

So he disappears into the crowd, headed toward the building.

Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Michael on the balcony.

But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his boss has had a minor heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Kuttappan asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and Michael came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Kuttappan?

Moral of the story- Don't ever underestimate a Malayalee again.

Mallus are hard workers, Not smart workers. But learn to be smart enough. Or you will be beaten to the ground. It is competition everywhere. “The glory of a man lies not in never falling, but in rising every time he falls”. And the Mallus rise like Phoenix. A coin has two sides. Be prepared to meet the challenges.