Have you ever had someone do something to you that makes you so angry when you think about it, even today? Has someone ever done something so terrible that you've sworn never to forgive them? They deserve it, don't they? To never be spoken to with any respect -- or spoken to at all? And you've made up your mind that no matter how much they apologize or try to make mends, you will just not forgive them because of the amount of pain, anger and humiliation they caused. That's the least they deserve, you tell yourself.
I do not know how you feel. But what I have written above is the exact way in which I used to feel. Now, when I look back in time, I realize that I had only been poisoning myself. Try forgiving someone who has wounded you the most. Its easier said than done. But when you eventually manage to, you will know the difference. You may not forget, but you can forgive.
If I forgive the person who hurt me, they'll think what they did was okay. They don't deserve it. Why should I forgive?
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese
Forgiveness is a virtue that grows and expands further the more it is practiced. It is a divine virtue that allows us to be in touch with God Himself. It is through forgiveness that we have the opportunity to touch a human life in a profoundly personal way and perhaps change the course of that life forever. Forgiveness allows us to look at a human being in the rawness of its form and realize that this very rawness lies deep within ourselves. It is through this meeting of ourselves that judgement ceases.
Forgiveness does not mean, however, that we condone or participate in a path that brings pain and suffering to another. One must be wise to separate from such a path and to continue a journey towards greater understanding of love and peace.
When we bring forgiveness to a human life, it is like a heavy stone that has been changed into a light feather. It is now able to move and dance freely as the wind blows softly on it. It has found new freedom to express its beauty and grace. It has been transformed!
When we receive forgiveness from another, it is like a tender embrace and a warm smile to the soul. “All is well”, it says, “Journey on and let the light of God illuminate your understanding!”
Forgiveness is a treasure that all of us have been given. It is a gift to ourselves, a gift to others and a gift to be received. Forgiveness is the revealing of Love! It is in that Love that all ignorance melts away, and a new dawning has begun. With deep abiding peace we then can say, “God had made no mistakes”!
“Delusion arises from anger. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down when reasoning is destroyed.” ~ Bhagawad Gita.
Here is a few tips on how to forgive others:
Decision : Make a decision. Do you really want to keep being upset? Do you want to keep allowing the person who hurt you to dwell in you mind, without paying rent? Do you want to allow the wound to begin healing just to tear it back open? OR Are you ready to move on with living and move on from this bad chapter in your life? Only you can decide. Make the decision - YES, I want to move on.
Realization : Realize they may or may not know. The person who you need to forgive may or may not realize it. Sometimes a person doesn't even know what they've done. You may be thinking about them but they may have long since forgotten about you. You just don't know exactly what's going on in the other person's head. You also don't know why people are like they are. Leave all that to God to worry about.
Get Help : Pray to God to help you. There's only one person that wants you to move on from the past more than you and that's God. Just say - "God, I'm having a hard time forgiving (fill in the name) You know they have (fill in the blank) and I'm tired of having this in my mind all the time. Please help me to forgive and move on." Please help me to forgive them.
Forgive them : Just say to yourself and to God. I forgive (name) for (action). I know that forgiving them doesn't mean they were right. I know that forgiving them doesn't mean I agree. I just know forgiving them frees me to live again. Forgiving them frees me to focus on more important things. They have taken too much from me already and the buck stops here. I forgive them and I thank you God for helping me.
Celebrate : You've just been freed from a life sentence! Buy yourself a gift or do something that you enjoy the most! You don't have to forgive a person face-to-face unless you need it for your own healing. You're Free!
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